Are Interracial Friendships Truly Sustainable
Today, we’re tapping into Friendships and the dynamics that race can play when sustaining a healthy and long lasting interracial friendship.
What exactly are race relations? Race Relations are the ways in which members or communities of different racial or ethnic groups feel about and behave toward each other within a particular area. Race relations is a sociological concept that emerged in Chicago in connection with the work of sociologist Robert E. Park and the Chicago race riot of 1919. Race relations designates a paradigm or field in sociology and a legal concept in the United Kingdom.
According to a 2013 Pughes Research Value Study, 75% of White adults have entirely White social circles without one person of color. Not One! Homogenous social networks are harmful in bridging the broken race relations gap. The sad reality is that, as adults, we tend to be racially segregated in our friendships, just as we are in our neighborhoods. Without genuine relationships with people of different backgrounds, our knowledge of others may be influenced by the media, family and the education system. Avoiding others who are different only perpetuate fears and stereotypes about certain groups of people.
A Study conducted by NYU's Steinhardt School of Culture, Education, and Human Development showed that as elementary and middle school students progress in school, they are less likely to have friends of a different race, even from the beginning to the end of a single school year. Although research shows that children with greater access to diverse peers are more likely to form interracial friendships, the study findings suggest that access to diversity alone is not sufficient for fostering these friendships, and teachers may play a role. Additional studies show that most childhood friendships are formed in classrooms, but children tend to form friendships with others of their own race or ethnicity, with interracial friendships decreasing across ages and grades. Yet, for nearly half a century, educators and scholars have argued that friendships across race have social, emotional, and academic benefits. Interracial friendships are more problematic between Blacks and Whites than between two people of other races.
When it comes to cross race friendships, White people are more likely to have interracial friends who are Hispanic or Asian than Black. Cross-race friendships are less common among Whites than among African Americans, largely because African Americans are more likely to be a minority in their environment, which means more Whites are available for friendship. Beverly Daniel Tatum, a psychologist and author of “Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? and Other Conversations About Race said, “If a white child has a friend of color, it’s likely that the friend is a minority in a mostly white community. So, as those friends of color approach adolescence, they start to become aware of experiences with racism, from name-calling and racial profiling in stores or by police, to social exclusion ― not being invited to teenage birthday parties, for instance.”
Deborah L. Plummer, a psychologist and author of “Some of My Friends Are... : The Daunting Challenges and Untapped Benefits of Cross-Racial Friendships.” Mentioned that, “We all benefit from cross-racial friendships, but if we’re being honest, White people may benefit a little bit more. When a White person travels through life with a friend of color, they get to understand and witness how the dynamics of privilege plays out. It allows them to really find a way to claim their White identity apart from that of a historical oppressor. They get to practice being anti-racists. They gain a positive White identity that is aligned with being a fully authentic human being.”
Interracial friendships can reduce the widening racial divide that affects the quality of our lives ― but only if friends are mutually learning from each other and listening with humility. Many BIPOC have done the emotional work of racial identity resolution independent of having cross-racial friends often hears white people say they fear they’ll say something that could be interpreted as racist in conversation with someone who’s Black. White people need to accept that making a mistake is part of the process to learn and grow to be anti-racist. Fear of saying the wrong thing props up the system. That fear shouldn’t be used as an excuse to not make real friends across the color lines, so to speak. Friendships are built on shared experiences and trust and even being in an interracial friendship, race isn’t something that’s constantly discussed ― but that trust does not exist if the white person is not interested in learning about his friend’s experiences, even at the expense of his own comfort. You have to choose to prioritize racial justice, even when it’s outside of your comfort zone. You have to choose to prioritize racial justice, even when it’s outside of your comfort zone. What happens, often, is a lot of white people seem to struggle with cross-racial friendships because they don’t need to be cross-culturally competent in this society. While Black people and other People of Color have the skills to navigate diverse relationships, white people often lack the experience and empathy to do the same. White people tend to think that the answer to racial injustice is to foster cross-racial friendships while POC are looking for friends who will join the struggle for genuine equity.
Want to learn more? Click the link to listen to today’s segment, Episode 1: ‘Am I Invited To The Barbeque?” Are Interracial Friendships Truly Sustainable